There Is No Shortage of Blood

alby_mangroves & Dira Sudis (dsudis)

Language: English

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Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence Avengers Tower Blood and Injury Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug Completed Established Relationship Flashbacks Knifeplay Military Original Characters Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier Rape Aftermath Rape Fantasy Rape Recovery Risk Aware Consensual Kink Self-Harm Sexual Dysfunction Suicidal Thoughts Therapy noted

Publisher: archiveofourown.org

Published: Nov 12, 2017

Words: 250060
Notes:

this is the longest fic i've ever read i'm p sure. there were times in the middle where i'd already read what equates to one or two full novels where i legitimately thought i could read about the mundane aspects of bucky's recovery forever. it was just a delight to pick up every day. there is so much heart here, and love, and consideration for trauma and the human messiness of it all. there are some conversations in this that are so well articulated and poignant that i found myself rereading whole pages of dialogue. the stuff bucky discusses with fr. roche especially. but all the secondary characters were wonderful. there was so much room to breathe in this fic that a lot of the time nothing was happening, but in an immensely readable way? i just loved it. it's a deeply, deeply realized journey of trauma recovery that i don't think could have been accomplished so well with a smaller wordcount. anyway. adored this. the last couple chapters felt slightly out of left field and a little rushed, but it didn't detract from the ending at all.

Ch.: 57
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Relationship: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Therapy, Blood and Injury, Established Relationship, Flashbacks, Knifeplay, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Suicidal Thoughts, Self-Harm, Rape Aftermath, Risk Aware Consensual Kink, Sexual Dysfunction, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Rape Recovery, Rape Fantasy, Bucky Barnes's Trigger Words, Avengers Tower, Bucky's Broken Dick, unsafe bdsm practices, Winter Soldier Trial, Army, Catholic Bucky Barnes, Autoerotic Asphyxiation, No Safeword, (just this once)
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Rated: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Annotations:
317211/14/2024 23:59:42

choice to say yes to that question on the basis of some kind of Pascal’s

317211/14/2024 23:59:46

avoiding Bucky’s gaze. “So you made a completely pragmatic choice to say yes to that question on the basis of some kind of Pascal’s

705411/20/2024 23:26:48

Bucky couldn’t look away from Steve’s eyes, dark with hurt and the anticipation of hurt

726011/20/2024 23:51:55

Bucky put his head down again, focusing on his folded hands. “I… on Monday morning, I stabbed myself eight times. It wasn’t a sin of despair—I wasn’t trying to kill myself, I never meant anything like that. I was just trying to—” his face went hot, but he pushed on. “To jerk off.” Father made a low noise, and Bucky looked up to see him frowning, rubbing one knuckle over his lips. He met Bucky’s eyes and gave him a questioning look, not shocked or disgusted, merely inquiring. “Is that your usual manner of self-gratification?”

1185711/22/2024 20:50:32

“Soldat.

tropes: canon divergent, angst, established relationship
keywords: rape recovery, trigger phrases, found family, therapy, nightmares, domesticity
date: Nov 22, 2024
rating: 4.5
heat: moderate

Description:

The long slow recovery of Bucky Barnes after his escape from HYDRA.

(And the longer, slower recovery of his sex life.)