all that's said in the low light

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Book 1 of silver and gold

Language: English

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Angst Christmas Chronic Pain Completed Dissociation Eventual Romance Family Homophobia Hurt John "Soap" MacTavish Hurt/Comfort Illustrated Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence Major Character Injury Military Original Characters Past Abuse Past Drug Use Physical Disability Pining Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD Recovery Romance Suicidal Thoughts noted

Publisher: archiveofourown.org

Published: Mar 10, 2023

Words: 169064
Notes:

I'm pretty sure this is the longest fic I've ever read, or at least close. I teared up a few times, got close to sobbing once. This is a really beautiful story and the characters are so, so well-realized. I love Johnny's family and the dedication to committing to the scottish dialect.

It's just a little too long and a little too overwrought. Not enough to stop me from loving it, but boy do those maudlin, purple metaphors crop up too much. With a solid kill-your-darlings edit, this could be a legitimately incredible trad pub novel.

Also the smut is lame. Sorry, but I said it. I'm glad it's not entirely fade-to-black, but its damn close.

Anyway I loved it a lot.

Ch.: 15
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Relationship: John "Soap" MacTavish/Simon "Ghost" Riley
Additional Tags: Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery, Pining, Family Feels, Homophobia, Illustrated, Past Abuse, Eventual Romance, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Christmas, Physical Disability, Suicidal Thoughts, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Hurt John "Soap" MacTavish, Dissociation, Major Character Injury, Chronic Pain, John "Soap" MacTavish-centric, Aggressively Scottish, Funded by Dubious Google Searches, Calculated Heartbreak, Probable Cause for Future Smut, Way Too Many Feelings, Hopeless Idiots in Love, Brought To You By The Romantic Stylings of Simon "I Love Kentucky" Riley, And His Partner John "I'm Fucked" MacTavish, Medical Inaccuracies Ahoy, 9/10 Readers Said They Cried, 0/10 Doctors Recommend, Excessive Swearing as a Love Language, Surprisingly Well-Adjusted Ghost?, More Likely Than You Think..., Past Drug Use, The Inherent Depression of Being a Soldier In Love, Big Boys Angst, AleRudy Cameo, This is a love story
Fandom: Call of Duty (Video Games)
Rated: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Annotations:
58448/31/2023 14:06:43

Simon Riley is a memorial in progress, his body carved anew with each deployment, every scratch and scar and bullet hole a deliberate addition, as if some nameless artist is just taking their time perfecting the form before breaking it further, trying to see how solid all that marble really is. It’s silly to love a tombstone, he knows, even one so lovely.

58628/31/2023 14:08:20

There’s no time, darling, his psyche whispers in the sweetest of screams. There’s no fucking time for me to fall out of love with you.

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Description:

He wades in it now, eyes still open, fixed on the speckled ceiling, begging himself not to crave bomb blasts and artillery fire in his childhood bedroom. Although…there might be something beautiful about it all, Johnny supposes, those noises in the thick. The gasps in between discharge that say: I’m here, I’m a part of this song too.

 

After a near-fatal injury, John MacTavish finds himself back in his hometown in Scotland. Fresh off an untimely discharge, he's forced to cope with disability, his dysfunctional family, and the lingering knowledge that there are some things he's just not ready to leave behind...